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Post by England on Mar 8, 2010 18:02:23 GMT -5
The moment they landed on the island that Antonio had claimed as 'La Maria Madre' (and good god, that wasn't very origional of him) Lovino went and closed himself in the rooms that he claimed for himself. He hadn't been feeling very well (even after the beach trip that ended up with them claiming a new crew member) since the trip to the aztecs, even though he wouldn't admit it.
He'd been having nightmares. When he shot that man dead, it had been the first time he'd even killed anyone, let alone fired a gun at a person. And yes, it had been worth it, he'd saved his Boss's life... but every moment he dozed off was another one seeing the blood spatter and the bits of flying bone. The gore, the stench - and all because of one finger and a small bullet.
Trying to stay awake was impossible - he only managed to last a few hours before his eyes began to tiredly slide shut, forcing him into those memories again... even as he was asleep, he tossed and turned, whimpering and sweating under the covers of his bed and wishing he could just forget it all.
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Post by Spain on Mar 8, 2010 19:13:09 GMT -5
Antonio was starting to feel like he was on top of the world. And why wouldn't he be? He had it all--gold, power, notoriety--and most of all, people he could trust.
People like Lovino.
Every minute spent with his young first mate was a joyous one; even when he was yelling, or hitting him, or...just being Lovino, Antonio found himself smiling more. Just being around him was heavenly. And...perhaps he was feeling what might have been love--there was a funny way that his heart started to sing when Lovino walked into the room.
But the dense Spaniard wasn't one to notice that, so he continued on with his life. Taking lands, kicking ass, and being a pirate. Having claimed a small island to be his base--and yes, he thought his name was perfectly fine, thank you--the crew set to work searching the abandoned island for places to stay.
It was dark now, and as Antonio was heading to his makeshift room, he passed a room with the door shut--but he could hear whimpering. Curiously, the Captain opened the door to see his darling first mate. He was having a nightmare of some sort. The worried Spaniard rushed over to his side and shook him slightly. "Lovi? Lovi? Wake up, it's just a dream! I'm right here, okay? Right here!""
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Post by England on Mar 8, 2010 19:49:34 GMT -5
The second that he was touched, Lovi jerked out of his nightmare, barely repressing a scream. In his dream, he'd felt the touch of the man he'd killed and and - he shuddered. "Oh god... make it stop..." he choked on a sob, burying his face in his hands - and having not noticed a certain someone beside him in the dark.
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Post by Spain on Mar 8, 2010 20:24:04 GMT -5
Antonio looked sympathetic--nightmares were the worst. He'd been having them for years, sporadically, flashes of war and violence, and of faces he'd never seen before that screamed at him in the night, but the Spaniard had chosen to ignore them. To see his first mate suffering like this, though...it put him in a whole other mindset. Antonio quickly pulled Lovino into his arms and stroked his hair, mumbling sweet words of comfort in his ear as he held him close. Sometimes the best you could do was be there. "Shh, shh...it's okay, Lovi, I'm here, boss is here..."
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Post by England on Mar 8, 2010 20:49:35 GMT -5
Being held in warm arms told him that it was over - that he wasn't back there, back with the body - that the touch he'd felt was innocent. That didn't stop him from pushing away from-... from Antonio? He thought he recognized his voice- to vomit over the side of the bed miserably.
In fact, after that, he felt slightly better - as if some poison had been purged from him... it still tasted nasty though...
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Post by Spain on Mar 8, 2010 21:08:08 GMT -5
The captain;s hands immediately found his first mate's back,rubbing it and trying his best to hold his bangs out of the way as the other threw up; as he righted himself, Antonio plucked a canteen from his own belt and held it out to him. "...¿Estás bien, Lovino?"
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Post by England on Mar 8, 2010 23:06:56 GMT -5
When he felt as if he could, he shook his head mutely and turned to cling to the spanish mans shirt. "...m'not okay..." he whimpered into the fabric, trying his hardest to keep from crying, but starting to lose the battle as tears welled in his eyes. "I can't... stop remembering..." he nearly sobbed.
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Post by Spain on Mar 8, 2010 23:35:32 GMT -5
"Remembe--oh."Immediately, Antonio's arms wrapped tight around the Italian, pulling him in close for a hug. He had never...killed someone before, had he? Antonio was used to it; Cortés had trained him well. But...well, to see Lovino breaking down like this...it was breaking his heart. "Lovino, it's okay, you were doing the right thing..."
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Post by England on Mar 9, 2010 19:51:45 GMT -5
His arms wrapped around Antonio as he hugged himself closer, trying to be comforted - really trying! He nodded in answer to his Boss's question, sniffling. "I... I know i-it was the right thing t-to do... but... but still..." his lips trembled as he held back another sob.
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Post by Spain on Mar 10, 2010 11:14:44 GMT -5
Antonio stroked his hair, fingers running through auburn locks as he spoke, voice soothing and calm. He had never taken care of anyone before, really; it was funny how absolutely natural this felt, rocking Lovino slightly in his arms. " Killing people for no reason is a bad thing, sure, but you didn't. You saved my life. You were so, so brave, and I'm very, very proud. You did well. You did so well."
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Post by England on Mar 11, 2010 12:20:24 GMT -5
He nodded, afraid of trying to speak again and nothing coming out but more sobs - with his mouth shut, he was able to keep from sounding as badly off as he was. But slowly, very slowly, a guilt rose in him that had nothing to do with a dead person he didn't know. He shouldn't be so... happy wasn't the right word but... pleased that Antonio was here, holding him and trying to make him feel better.
Despite the fact that he was thinking that, it didn't stop him from curling closer, trying to absorb more of the spanish man's warmth and comfort.
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Post by Spain on Mar 11, 2010 13:54:39 GMT -5
Antonio fell silent for a moment, still rocking the Italian in his arms, listening to him sob. When he spoke up again, it wasn't, in fact, spoken--but sung, the softest melody in the Italian's ears.
"Tú estás mi vida, tú estás mi corazon, no puedo vivo sin tú, Romano..."
(ooc; you are my life, you are my heart, i can't live without you, Romano. I used that in one of my Spamano fics >u< )
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Post by England on Mar 12, 2010 22:57:14 GMT -5
The song, even if he didn't understand all the words, was slowly soothing. It may have taken a while, but the sobs that he'd tried to repress let themselves out - and maybe later, he would deny having ever cried on Antonio's shoulder, but now... for now, it was fine.
What felt like hours later, eyes red and nose swollen, those harsh sobs slowed to a stop. Not wanting the other man to even consider getting up and leaving him now that he was done, Lovi found himself settling in his lap, arms around Antonio's neck, face hidden in his chest.
"...stay with me?" he asked quietly, too tired to be grumpy or subtle.
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Post by Spain on Mar 12, 2010 23:11:45 GMT -5
"Always." he replied simply, burying his nose in Lovino's hair and cuddling him close. Those sobs had practically broken his heart--it occurred to Antonio that he never, ever wanted to see him that upset again. For some reason, it felt like keeping him happy, or at least as happy as Lovino could get, was becoming a top priority, and he found himself practically aching to get him to smile.
Maybe if he was a bit smarter, he'd figure out it was love.
Gently, he nuzzled against his head and held the Italian close in his lap, trying to be as comforting as possible.
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Post by England on Mar 16, 2010 22:36:14 GMT -5
Lovi was able to attempt a watery smile up at Antonio, still under the weather, but heart lightening at those words. Maybe... maybe there was a chance - it... it sorta sounded like his Boss felt like he did. Nervously, needing and not fully understanding why he needed to do so, he nuzzled into Antonio's neck, letting the arms around him, the comforting smell and warmth and the fact that this was Antonio and no one else slowly and surely comfort him.
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