Mathias Køhler's Journal

[Danmark]

Kære Tidende,

A lot has happened lately so I figured it would be a good idea to start keeping a journal! At least so I can keep track of those strange dreams I keep having...and now all of these strange feelings!

Ever since I moved away from home and started working on the harbor, more strange things have been happening to me. Those dreams that I keep having have just started coming more and more. Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat, angry and scared. Other times I just wake up feeling cold, empty, and lonely. I guess it depends on the dreams I have, although they're usually about people I've never met, but they all look so familiar.

I remember one where a tall, scary-looking guy was calling me Danmark. How weird is that? And in that same dream, there was another guy...he was shorter than the first one and looked kind of terrified of him. He spoke Finnish and kept calling the other guy Ruotsi. I asked some of the guys on the docks and they said that Ruotsi is the Finnish word for Sweden! So these people in my dreams keep calling each other by names of countries for some reason...I dunno, it's just too weird to understand.

But some good things have come from me working here on the docks, too! I know that Mor og Fader are worried about me, especially Mor, but every day when I go to work...the smell of the sea in the air and the cool ocean mist on my face...it feels like the ocean is welcoming me home. It sounds strange, I know, but the ocean really just...feels like home.

Ah, well. I had a long day today so I guess I should get some sleep. I hope that my dreams aren't too weird tonight. I need to actually get some rest so that I can go to work tomorrow~!

God nat, Tidende.

- Mathias

[Danmark]

I just woke up from a really strange dream, tidende. I was going to add this on to my other entry but I felt like it deserved one all it's own.

In my dream, I was sailing in a longboat, like in the viking times. I think I was in charge, or at least close to it, and we were coming up on this shore where there was already another longboat. The crew got angry at this and started to raid the other boat, breaking things and starting to burn them on the beach. That's when the owners of the other boat appeared. They were tough, and I'm pretty sure they were from Norge. The two crews started fighting and I was trying to break it up, but then he showed up. At first I thought he was a girl, because his hair was so long and in all of these plaits that fell around him like a curtain. He was smaller than me, but apparently really strong, because he came up and just started grabbing people and tossing them off of each other, yelling loudly in Norse...his voice was so powerful and commanding, it took me off guard. Everyone seemed to listen to him, for some reason. I was captivated, just watching him...and when he looked at me, it felt like someone had poured a bucket of ice and water over my head and all down my back.

I don't mean that he looked angry at me (well, he kind of did), but that the look in his eyes...it felt like I'd seen that look before a thousand times, like I'd run my fingers through that hair, and kissed those lips

I don't understand. I don't know how I could possibly know this person, if he was a viking so long ago. But now, from the moment I saw him in that dream, I feel like a part of my heart is missing - gone somewhere, and I need to find it. Maybe it's with the person who can give me answers about what's going on?

[Danmark]

Sorry about that last entry, tidende, but I just had to get that out before I went back to sleep.

I had another dream after that one, and while I don't really feel like talking about it, I know it's important somehow.

I think I was with that guy again. No, I know for sure it was him. Even though he looked different, with shorter hair and this one little curl that seemed to float off the side of his head...he was wearing a sailor-type uniform, also, and with a guy that was drinking Coke and holding a puffin.

I kept calling him Norge, and I guess I was trying to get him to spend some time with me. I was so much taller than in the last dream...and stronger, I could feel how much stronger I was. He wasn't much taller, but I could tell he was still extremely strong, maybe inhumanly so.

Once he got the puffin guy to go to sleep, he looked at me differently, though. He was really annoyed still, I think, but it was different...softer, maybe. I know I said something, but I can't remember what it was, and then he put his hand around the back of my neck and kissed me and it was the most amazing thing.

But then the dream turned into something else, and I could tell it wasn't the same time frame, but it was much earlier, and I was angry - I was waving this axe around and yelling, but at the same time I was also trying not to cry. The other guy, the one I called Norge, was also angry and yelling, and I think he was threatening to leave...he kept saying something about a declaration and independence and then that stern, scary-looking guy (I called him Sverige in this dream and he called me Danmark again) showed up and they left together. I guess I gave up because then I just sat down and cried...it felt like my heart had been ripped in two, and I think it was the most pain I had ever felt in my life.

I woke up crying, but I had to make sure I remembered this so I wrote it down here before I went to wash my face the tears are dry and making my skin feel tight now from the salt, like how I feel after working all day on the docks.

I can see the sun coming up so I guess I should go get ready for work now...I didn't get much sleep last night after all, but work is more important. And anyway, the sea will calm me down like it always does after I have these dreams; that's part of the reason I moved out here.

Have a good day, tidende.

- Mathias